Contributed by RepMan – http://www.repmanblog.com/
I’m not sure why every new parent in the world feels compelled to show off her son or daughter, but they do. They must. It’s been mandated by someone or something on high. It’s also been mandated that we must respond with an “Oh, how gorgeous, little Alex is! He has your eyes!”
Also, ALL new moms feel compelled to bring their infants and toddlers to their erstwhile place of work. Why? Beats me.
But, in the spirit of About You, I think it’s important for new parents – and especially you moms out there – know that many men (and, I suspect, some women), simply aren’t that interested in meeting your newborns. I know it’s heresy to say, but there it is.
Don’t get me wrong. Dads love kids. I love mine. But, most of us just don’t love everyone else’s kids. It may be a gender thing, but I’m reminded of the classic Seinfeld episode in which Jerry, Kramer, Elaine and George are introduced to what is obviously one very ugly baby. Kramer’s non-verbal reaction is just classic. As is Elaine’s ‘The dingo ate your baby’ comment. Trust me, ladies. There are lots of ugly kids out there and we guys don’t like to have them shoved in our face.
The same holds true for kids on planes. Ever notice how parents expect their fellow passengers to think their screaming, kicking and vomiting kids are just absolutely adorable? Well, guess what? They’re not. Nor are the toddlers who run pell-mell up and down the aisle. If it were up to me, moms and dads with infants and toddlers would be roped off in special sections of the plane (preferably as far away from this guest blogger as possible).
Lest you think me some sort of latter-day Ebenezer Scrooge, though, let me tell parents everywhere that I absolutely adore meeting your dogs. I love any and all canines. Big ones. Small ones. Ugly ones. It doesn’t matter. I can even warm up to a cat. But, getting back to the human side of the story, please don’t shove your newborn in my face and expect me to fawn all over little Eddie or Kirstin. Because while this post may seem all about me, it’s not. And when it comes to your kids, it’s so not about you.
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3 things:
1.) You should be offended by that Seinfeld episode as a dog lover, Steve. When they were describing how ugly the baby was, they said that he looked like a Pekinginese. As the proud owner of two Pekes, I was greatly offended. There may be some ugly babies out there, but you can’t diss a whole breed.
2.) You do know that you have the most encouraging baby lover known to humanity sitting outside your office. Sort of puts you in the line of fire, so to speak, for the babies that come through. Dandy mandated I bring Emma in for a visit while I was up in NY this week. And Emma fell in love with Pepper and wanted to take her new canine friend home.
3.) Since I have a toddler that has probably racked up more flying miles than most adults, I’ll say this: any responsible parent is as nervous as you are about those long flights. I’d gladly take a baby section, so that I don’t have to deal with all the snarly adults I have to sit next to. Someone was telling my wife they sat next to a passenger not so long ago who said, “Your baby better not cry.” (If it were that easy, I would have just mandated it a long time ago.) But I’d be all for parents-and-kids seating. At least, if Emma did get cranky, I’d be around some understanding passengers.
And that would also get me away from all the nasty adults I usually have to sit around. Last night, there was the guy who took his shoes off and stunk up the plane across from me. In front, there was the guy who really couldn’t fit in his seat and was struggling the whole time. And behind us was the couple who talked loudly for hours while we waited for the plane to take off at LGA forever, all the way through the flight, and right up to taxi. The kicker: when they get off the plane, they say, “Wow, your baby was really good!” I thought, “You should take some lessons.” That’s not even to mention the guy who vomited all over the place in front of us one one of our recent flights.
So, I’ll take the roped-off section with the kids any day.
Sam: unlike many members of the Peppercom politically correct police force, I don’t offend easily. As for the airlines, an ass is an ass, regardless of whether he is single or dragging along three screaming toddlers. My blog is all about mutual respect and understanding that, while I may think Chris and Catharine are the best kids in the world, you may not. So, I would never, ever shove them in your face and expect you to exclaim, “Gorgeous, steve. Just gorgeous.”
Totally agreed. As my Dad once said to a woman in our town who had, well, pretty subpar kids, “Everybody thinks their kids are wonderful, even when they’re not.” But, I’ll say this, as opposed to annoying kids or annoying pooches, annoying adults should know better!
I’m happy to be the voice of a parent on the opposite side of this one. There is no doubt that parents have a huge sense of pride when it comes to their kids. And why not? In the end, it’s the most important job most of us will ever have. My advice: look for the cues. It’s obvious when someone isn’t interested. It’s OK. Move on. There are plenty of us out here who are.
I’d also like to share a few reasons to advocate for the “bring your child/baby to work” approach:
- Education: For many working parents, bringing the kids in to see what mom or dad does all day is a great experience. Parents have the opportunity to expose their kids to their work, and remove the mystery from what they do all day. It shows another side of the parent as more than the person who wipes bottoms and fetches snacks. On a side note, when my daughter was two, she said, “oh, you’re work,” when she met a co-worker in the office for the first time. She thought work was a person; boy, was she in for a wakeup call!
- Work pride: There’s also a lot to be said for a company that allows, and even encourages, the occasional drop in from the young ones. I’m proud to work for a company that has always welcomed my small brood. It’s a reflection of how valued the employees are and recognition that we’re not just workers, we’re people with full lives too.
- Relationships: Co-workers who take the time to get to know each other are stronger teams. I’ve certainly seen how people relate in different ways and support each other when they’ve had an inside look at the ‘other’ side of their colleagues’ lives. Granted, there’s the risk of oversharing, but that’s for another day.
I may not be able to support kids on planes as much having recently endured the back of my seat being kicked for a two-hour flight. In her defense, the mom did try to stop the behavior, but never acknowledged anything to me. That’s more about being able to discipline kids effectively. I wouldn’t ban all kids from planes or work, but mandatory etiquette and discipline courses for some parents may not be a bad idea.
Thx, SWR. I took chris and Catharine to the office when they were young. Both had a chance to see what I did. What I did not do was take them office to office, shove them in my co -workers’ faces and say, “aren’t they wonderful.” do you understand the profound difference between the two approaches? I’m all for bringing kids to work. Just don’t shove them in my face.
I agree with everything you are saying
I agree